Yesterday's a closing door

I recently had one of those emotional moments that reminds me of what happens after getting sucker punched and losing the ability to breathe.  I heard my breath catch in my throat, I felt my heart skip a beat and then it felt like my entire world just fell out from under me and I was free falling into nothingness as time stood still. 

My family and I had spent the weekend cleaning the basement which resulted in going through bins in storage that contained stuff we no longer use. I brought a few bins upstairs to go through later by myself.  (I have discovered local online rummage sales via Facebook and I've been selling stuff we don't want.)

After getting the basement cleaned together, I started to sort through the remaining bins on my own this week.  One of these contained old photo albums & frames I have no room to hang, so I began making piles of photo albums (to obviously keep) and empty frames to sell. As I worked my way deeper into the bin, that is when it happened. 

I came across a solitary photograph, loose from my wedding album; a picture of my mom and me.  

I swear I had to tell myself to breathe.  It didn't just happen reflexively like it's supposed to. 

I feel like I had to also remind my brain to signal my heart to resume beating. Because in that moment, the pain was so deep I wished it had stopped for good. 

When the room stopped spinning and my body resumed it's normal involuntary functions, all I felt was immeasurable pain and heart ache and then my tears started. 

By the Grace of God I was able to wipe my tears and resume the task at hand, only slightly affected by yet another painful reminder of what used to be.  

This happened on June 23...later that night I realized my pre-order of Danny Gokey's cd was available on itunes and I downloaded it. One song immediately caught my eye and when I listened to it I began to cry.  

Every word fit perfectly with what I've been going through and served as a faithful reminder from a Loving God that I'm right where I need to be. Even when I stumble and fall, He will pick me back up and when my heart breaks, He will give me the Strength to tell my heart to beat again.  

God bless all the talented musical artists who use their gift to speak words of love, encouragement and life into those who need it. I started this blog after hearing Jason Gray's Nothing is Wasted, and now I'm blogging again after hearing Danny Gokey's latest song.  Tell Your Heart To Beat Again.

http://youtu.be/VFDSyIHCP-o    <---link to video


Lyrics

Shattered, like you've never been before
The life you knew, in a thousand pieces on the floor
Words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you're never gonna get back
To the you, that you used to be

Chorus-
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of Grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again

Beginning-  just let that word wash over you
It's all right now, Loves healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun (Son)
Because your story's far from over
And your journey's just begun

Chorus

Let every heartbreak and every scar
Be a picture that reminds you, Who has carried you this far
Because Love sees farther, than you ever could
And in this moment Heaven's working, everything for your good

Chorus