I felt the surge of anger rush to the surface as I pressed the accelerator down further in an attempt to merge onto the freeway; the driver on the lane adjacent refused to allow me to merge and actually proceeded to speed up. I literally screamed out loud "*bleeping expletive* thanks for moving over you *bleepity bleep*!!!" ...and continued to seethe in my rage at the complete lack of common courtesy that exists on the road these days. It happens every day, all the time and I'm fed up. What IS wrong with people?
As I asked that I had the answer in my head, and thought about it with disdain for those who deserve His wrath NOW. "Ooh yeah, because you sent your Son to be The sacrifice and extended Grace after seeing how many times mankind would just continue to reach this ridiculous point of grotesque sin...free will, fruit in The Garden, knowledge of good and evil, stupid Eve, yadda yadda... grumble grumble...but God I really think enough is enough, I'm just so angry!"
It was in that exact moment of my thought process, I realized that I would be part of this said "cleansing" I desired to see. After-all, if I had this hatred in my heart after a minor traffic infraction, I'm no better than the million other sinners out there walking this earth. Woofta, talk about an eye opener...I too could be poofed away in the blink of an eye if The Almighty Creator decided to once again rid this place of all the lowly sinners.
That thought sent chills down my spine and I immediately turned on K-Love because I was in dire need of encouraging worship music. Amazing Grace was playing. I.kid.you.not. Some might think that was mere coincidence, but I believe the Lord has THE perfect way of driving His point home. A sense of humor was what I needed alongside His perfect timing. I chuckled at the irony of myself wishing a cataclysmic cleansing of mankind while my own heart was filled with sin. As I heard the words "wretch like me", I felt my anger lift and started singing. ♪♫
Lesson: It's about ME, me and my heart, my wretched heart that was saved by His grace, not about the driver on the road. I.can't.condemn.him. I can only work on me and live my life as a testimony to the Grace I've received when I uttered the words of the salvation prayer. (and it's a constant prayer really) Jesus come into my heart and live there, save me, I repent, forgive me, show me the way and make me new.
No sooner had I renewed my faith right then and there while doing 73 mph on Interstate I-94; I pictured God looking down upon this sad broken earth that He created, watching all the misery and sin, the hurting lonely people and tears welled up in my eyes and I began to cry. In place of that seething anger was a heavy heart and a conviction for what I'm supposed to be doing daily as a Christian. God called me out right there on the road, and reminded me of my calling, the one I accepted when I chose to pick up His cross and follow Him.
Matthew 16:15-16
And He said to them, go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned.
But He didn't say I could be the one doing the condemning, rather He directed me to do so with LOVE.
Mark 12:30-31
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is NO greater commandment than these.
He sent His son to die on the cross, because if not for Him, we'd all be doomed to spend our days living on this earth with no purpose or meaning (driving around in fits of road rage) because our lives here are temporary. Our human bodies can't live forever but our souls will; and I don't know about you but my hurt and broken soul needs a resting place when this life ends. The Old Testament shows that God is a God of anger and wrath, consequence and retribution, but after He sent His son to die for our sins, He showed that above all He is a God of love and it must break His heart to see humankind living this way; especially knowing what great things He has in store for us if we only repent and surrender. He doesn't want to swoop down with His mighty hand and flick the drivers with no courtesy off the road and into an abyss. He wants each and every one of us to be saved by His Grace. He wants our hearts to be SO filled with His love and compassion that every detail of our lives just overflow with Him. Meaning, when others cut me off or drive me to road rage, He wants ME to look past it, forgive them and wish them well. I prayed for that driver; my "neighbor on the road"...I owed it to him after cursing him out and basically damning him to hell.
Today I am ever thankful for His Amazing Grace and how it saved a wretch like me; I am begging God to renew my heart once again so I may serve Him and follow Him in a way that not only Glorifies Him for all He has done (and continues to do for me) but shows other His love and Grace.
Psalm 51:10-13
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within in me.
Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore me to the joy of your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will be converted to You.
