The Science of Emotion

Anyone who knows me well enough knows that my emotional personality has often been “reactive”.       I liken it to Newton’s law of motion; for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Whereas the science of physics defines the laws of motion, the science of psychology defines the laws of emotion; for every emotional action there is an equal and opposite emotional reaction. 

Now I know there are some who would not define my emotional reactions as “equal and opposite” but rather as above and beyond.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been accused of “overreacting”.  To me, I was merely reacting to the emotion I felt inside. It was equal and very opposite.  My emotions were out of control and my reactions matched. Qualifying my reactions as “overreacting" felt like I was being told to not feel and honestly that only caused an even stronger reaction.

When a chemical imbalance interferes with a person’s receptors their reactions equal the force of their emotions.  Sometimes this imbalance is from a glands failure to produce the proper secretions of hormones, a common one is adrenal insufficiency.   We all are familiar with how adrenaline works as it comes into play with the body’s fight or flight response.  While the human body can be affected from within by an improper balance of hormones, it is can also be greatly affected when stimulated by outside factors such as intense fear or excitement.

Human personalities are made up of complex components.  The dynamics of who we become and how we react are more than simple genetics that can be explained by science. If that was the case we’d have a greater understanding as to why some of us develop chemical imbalances, while others don’t.  Or better yet why some of us exhibit the signs and symptoms of a chemical imbalance as associated with mental illness or mood disorder; yet blood work fails to prove an underlying hormonal imbalance.  This is where environmental factors come into play.  There is a direct link between mental illness and childhood abuse.

Abuse in early childhood has the tendency to alter the child’s development.  In the face of stress and fear the fight or flight response engages, causing a surge in adrenaline.  As this hormone floods the receptors it causes the victim to grow accustomed to this type of heightened response.  This becomes the mechanism in which a child copes with stress; greatly affecting the rate of maturity as the child transitions into adulthood.  This arrested development prevents an abuse victim from maturing into a person with the capacity to handle adult emotions as their stunted mental/emotional maturity compares to the reactions of a child.

Truth: Our center of alignment; state of peace and harmony.
Hurt: Our response when feeling hurt by someone’s words or actions.
Anger: Our response when we don’t share our true feelings.
Numb: Our response if we stay in “anger” and continue to deny our true feelings. Numbness is typically less painful than hurt and anger, so it’s common for most to reside in this state.

 *http://www.raisingarizonakids.com/2011/10/interpreting-your-childs-emotional-responses/

Unresolved traumas lead to depression. Depression isn't just “sadness” it’s an attempt to not feel that which hurts us emotionally and mentally.  It’s the body’s way to subconsciously numb the internal pain; which leads to an absence of healthy emotion.   In the absence of positive emotion, all that is left is negative emotion; depression.

 When a person is given a diagnosis of depression, the only way to truly break free from it; is a change in perception.  But it takes maturity and confidence to look at oneself with introspection and a child who’s been abused lacks those qualities.  As the victim continues through life their reactions remain equal to their emotions.

Persons who exhibits this inability to match their emotions with their reactions are commonly diagnosed with a mood disorders such as bipolar.  Bipolar disorder is known for its varying degrees of manic and depressive episodes.  Whether this disorder is from genetic defect as with a hormonal imbalance or from developmentally learned behaviors in childhood, the person suffers as their emotions are pulled in two opposite directions.   

Among the many problems associated with a diagnosis of mental illness or personality disorder is the crushing stigma that is affiliated with it.  These labels overshadow the person as incompetent, volatile and ill equipped to cope with life. When this analysis is given to an abuse victim it renders them helpless, thus preventing recovery and perpetuating the cycle of abuse.

A victim caught inside the ever turning cycle of abuse feels as if it’s impossible to break out of the “victim status” on their own.  It’s natural to form coping mechanisms to defend oneself; like with fight or flight.  This response describes what happens internally and externally.  Running in the face of fear is an action not unlike isolating.  Both responses get the person away from the stimulus.  Fighting in self-defense can be done with fists just as it can with words.  This is where a person could be seen as “reactive” in times of duress. 

I just described myself.  Anyone who knows me well enough knows that my emotional personality has often been “reactive”; and many never understood.  I hope this sheds some light on the science and logic behind personality disorders and human emotion. 

I now have a better understanding about what makes me, me.  This awareness has given me freedom to heal. Just as there are many dynamics that make up my personality there are many things at work, helping me to heal.  First and foremost is my faith.  Without the strength of my Savior and His redeeming grace I’d still be depressed and broken. Second is the unconditional love of my amazing husband.  He is my best friend, and the reason I am able to believe I am loved.  I also have a handful of life- long friends who offer their ears, shoulders and support.  Last but not least is my writing, which I've always done but until recently I didn't understand why.  It’s with undying gratitude to the group of Jesus-loving women that I've recently connected with; they have taught me to believe in myself and my God-given talent and purpose. 

What is the point to all of this?  Today in the face of an emotional action I was not “reactive”.  This isn't to say I didn't experience an equal and opposite emotional reaction, but I did so while lying face down on the floor crying out to God.  He immediately held me in His arms and calmed my broken spirit.